2005-05-25
Absinthe
PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING DISCLAIMER!Caution:The events described in the following entry were performed by a professional,and any reactment or immation of such events is highly discouraged.The mention of any contraband substances is in no way advocated by any mentioned parties.
(But if you can get your hands on some Absinthe,drink the shit out of it and wooooo hooooo!!!!dude it kicks your ass!)
So last night me and Jamen are going shot for shot with this Absinthe he picked up in Hungary.
We've been fooled before by immitations,but this one said "Wormwood Infusion" under ingredients.
It pretty much tasted like mouthwash with rocket fuel in it,but it kicked our ass.
I do think I enjoyed the whole "ritual" to it, more so then the drink itself.
Place the spoon on top of the glass,place the absinthe soaked sugar cube on the spoon,ignite the cube and watch it burn for awhile,pour in the remaining shot of Absinthe,crush the sugar cube and pour in the water.
It was an odd french Absinthe ,so for some reason as soon as water touches this demon liquor it immediately turns a milky white,cloudy colour.
Oh it was fun!
The first attempt at this,Master Jamen,ended up cathing His entire glass,and a good portion of the surround kitchen table on fire!!
Oh how we laughed!!
Now I didn't really notice anything odd,like hallucinations of little green fairies,or any trippy vibe to that nature,but me and Jamen have been known to polish off a good fifth by ourselves,and after only 4 shots saying I was buzzed,was deffinitely and understatement.
He was struck with an overpowering sleepiness and went to bed,leaving me with an hour and a half to kill untill Cathy got off work,so I ventured to the bar about 5 minuets away to kill some time and have a beer.
I arrived at the bar,took a piss,and I think soon after is when the confusion started to set in.
I orderd a bourbon and coke,looked around in horror at all the locals laughing,and drinking and chatting away.
I became more and more paranoid,and felt so awkward hiding in the corner nursing my drink.
I tried to stare at the tv but would occasionally lock eyes with a stranger,and quickly look away in fear.
I noticed my drink tasted way too strong,wich is unusual for me,asked the bartender to add some more coke in a small timid voice which needed much repeating over they drunkards.
I finished it quickly as the fear was rising,then tipped,and got the fuck out of there.
I decided I had to piss again,but was damned if I wuld go back in that den of horror,so I drove about half a mile up a back road and pissed in the darkend road.
This is where my the confusion took over,and all navigational skill and short term memory vanished.
I drove right back the road I was on, yet some how never came anywhere near my starting point.
After 5 minuets of dark,ominous countryside I freaked out,pulled over and started driving the other direction.
"Oh there is the turn I missed!!!",I make a left.drive about 5 more minuets into more horrid,dark confusion.
I started panicking after about 15 minuets of wrong turns leading further from anything familiar.
"AHhhhhh!!!!!,Where the fuck am I!!!!"
I felt like I was 8 years old again and lost in the woods,I haven't had that fear in years,it was scary as shit,yet very nostalgic.
After about what seemed to be an eternity of confusion,(ending up to be more like 30 minuets)I saw lights of cars and streetlights.I drove too them,joy overcame me as I finally saw something familiar.
I ended up only 1 intersection down from where I started at the bar,a minuet walk,took me over a half hour of driving.
I laughed insanely and got a burger.
Then I arrivied at Cathy's hid in the bushes and slowly stalked her to her appartment for reasons I will never know.
She got a laugh out of it,then I called her dad and rambled on about an alarm clock for several minuets.
Ha ha ha.
So that's my story for today,let me know if you had any contrabaned-influenced adventures in your town!
4:39 p.m. 
by Timm Jumper
