2003-10-17
but that moment never came
" I was waiting on a moment,But that moment never came,
all the billion other moments,
were just slipping all away,
I was wanting you to love me,
But your love it never came,
all the other love around me,
was just wasting all away,"
That's a quote from a lovely song I heard in N.C.It's called Ego triping at the gates of Hell,by The flaming Lips.I suggest you listen to it.
We all want something wonderful.We wait and wait and wait and ignore every little possibility to find something else,because we are to focused on a dream that might never have even exsisted.
Reality is a bastard,yes this is true at times,alot more for some.I have a big fucking problem with it the majority of the time,but there are times I realize now that I am happy.I ignore alot of them ,hoping this other moment will appear instead,I don't want to loose focus of it by being sidetracked by these "mildly entertaining" pictures flashing beside me.
That's wrong,I'm not happy that I do that.
I'm afraid we all do though.
I don't understand what's going on in my Mind lately.I feel this odd sense of "love" in things.Possibly I'm learning to really love people,and in a way I couldn't before.
It means so much,I know I still have sadness,and it most deffinitely will infect me again,but I've let go of alot.I feel a little more freedom then before.
I feel this sadness for those I love,who are having problems.
You need to know,no matter what you think of yourselves,I will always love you unconditionaly.
If only we could see ourselves thru the eyes of those who love us.I think we might all explode with delight and gain an uncontrollable ego.One we all deserve.
Love to you!!!
11:55 p.m. 
by Timm Jumper
