2002-09-04
grrr.bang crash
I broke something today.My lovely Irish cross on my wall.I was tired and debating if I should go help work some guy mow in the sun for a crappy amount of money.Then I just spazzed and slammed my hand into the wall,and my cross came a crashin down to the floor,shattering into several peices.I don't know why i have these horrible tantrums sometimes.I feel it boiling in me and I'm no good with that kinda stuff so I have little kid fits when I'm alone.
well,at least I never take it out on people,or get all violent.
I don't like violence at all.
It's hard sometimes ,I realize,to deal with everything that bothers you.Sometimes we swallow too much of it and thats really bad.It eats you up and slips out at bad times.
I guess the trick is,to find some place,maybe in your mind to escape for a little bit.A beautiful memory ora time you were very relaxed and happy,pretend you're still there.Also keep a constant reminder of how this horrible anger can destroy and ruin beauty.
Like my cross,I'm keeping in peices as a constant reminder of what anger does,maybe others will too.keep something,and when you feel that boiling,take a long look and remember what happens.
ok goodnight
10:19 p.m. 
by Timm Jumper
