2002-05-22

A mass swarm of inscects they are...

I tired to mingle with the "common"folk tonight.I'm not quite sure how it went,but I think they enjoyed my company.

I wish I could completely say the same.

I was invited by some co-workers to have some drinks after work.So i decided,"what the hell,I like drinking why not join these people.

Well about 10 minuets into it I started feeling that "odd" disconnected feeling,like I really don't belong with these people.

I try ,try to adapt ,humor them with odd comments,and try to respond in such a manner That I beleive acceptable or even humorous.

Though the whole time I feel completely disconnected from all of them,I wanna shout out weird things and tell them how blind they are to whats important.

The drunker I get the easier it is to "act" like them.

I don't mean to be judgemental,or critisize anyone,ecspecially if they are nice to me,but they all seem to keep their brains in their pants.Speaking of whom they fucked,how they fuck,whom they wanna fuck or how they love to...etc,,etc.

I occasionally smile at a humorus statement but for the most part am simply amazed at how not so far off from simple mammles the whole lot of them are.Thier main goals are to drink,eat and fuck,with no actual concept of what we as "humans" have supossedly evolved too.

I had too leave after an hour or so,because I started feeling really strange,as I often do around crowds of people.I came home finding insects,waterbugs I think,swarming the streets.I couldn't help but think back in comparison to my "friends" at the bat.coming out at night,swarming to find drink,food ,and sex.

We are supposedly a superior race but ,I unfortunately feel the majority of us aren't very far off from simple creatures of nature,acting only on survival instincts.

I'm sorry if I seem judgemental,I love anyone who is a decent person inside,and if they take the time to smile at me and notice when I'm down,I believe we all have potential to be good people,but alot of us let simple "bullshit" cloud are life and need to learn alot about respect and love.

good night

11:46 p.m. . by Timm Jumper