2002-05-03
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There is a place thats exists between worlds.Between consciuosness and dreams.Between sobriety and intoxication.
I feel myslef dwelling here more and more lately.
Tonight ,well early this morning,I awoke after slipping into a whiskey induced slumber for 2 hours or so.I wandered around in somewhqt of a haze for a bit ,fully aware of what I was doing yet lacking the ability to really interact with life in the usual manner.
I drove home,and the whole way I couldn't quite tell which world I was in.There are certain"feels" to the dream world and being awake.I felt the exact feeling of dreaming ,but still knew I was somehow awake,and operating a motor -vehicle at a suprisingly law abiding speed.
It's funny,I think I can mentally function alot better while asleep.
It's scary sometimes,but I think I'm used to living here alot.I haven't felt awake in several years,I can deal with it now.It's when I don't feel alive that frightens me.
What if I die and don't even know it.The human concious is a strong thing,that and the ego that comes along with it.The pure ignorance and unwillingness to accept anything but the norm can trap many a soul and trick them into believing they are still alive.
i'm not saying I'm welcoming death anytime soon,just that I hope I can tell the difference between the 2 worlds and accept it when it comes.
I once read that "death is not a difficult thing,Living is the challenge"
good night
5:03 a.m. 
by Timm Jumper
