2005-03-12
what do you weigh?
I know it might sound kinda pathetic that I spent friday night just sitting at my grandma's house,but I really enjoyed it.We shared a drink or two, and just "shot the shit" for a couple hours.
I get so scared and get these horrid paranoid thoughts of her not being there anymore,I know eventually it will happen,eventually everyone you love will be gone,but I'm horrible at dealing with anything,so I appreciate every cute,happy little conversation we have.
I know we have different opinions on alot and I couldn't even begin to discuss certain topics,but we talk about alot,and laugh about alot to the point where all these supposed"Important"differences seem to vanish for awhile,my ego or pride vanishes and I just humor anything I disagree with.
Fuck,everyone has something I'm gonna dislike,but I love her so much I don't want to spend the last years bitching about her negativity,or telling her to be nicer,or bitch religion when she says something to that extent,smile,let them stay content and just enjoy everything that you do like.
I think we just have to weigh things out sometimes,is bitching or trying to prove your ponit,worth really upsetting somone who loves you and tainting the short years you have together?
I've been weighing alot out lately when it comes to who I can be around,and sadly it works the other way as well.
Sometimes you can have good memories of somone and have been close,but realize they upset you way too much,and thier negatives outweigh anything pleasant.
Fortunatley those I love the most,have kept the scales well balanced.
So what if I sound like a sissy boy?,I love my grandma!!
2:07 a.m. 
by Timm Jumper
