2004-08-12
AHHH!!!
I know it's not really healthy to dwell on bad decissions.Nothing gets resolved by constantly thinking"I should have...I should have...Why did I ?..."
but I find myself doing alot of things that aren't good for me,but it seems I do that the most.
Should have said..anything,something.
Shutting people off does not accomplish a fucking thing.
My brain,my mind gets tired,I get tired,things start to sound like radio fuzz after awhile.
Up,down,back ,forth,I grew up on that multi-personality,anger,apologetic,confusion.
I need to be angry sometimes,but feel guilt when the reason is not present at the moment and seems hurt by your withdraw.
I suppose we just all have our own flow,direction,some will stay the same,beside us,and some go spinning off to the distance.
I hate all that.
I want to feel a certain way,but can't rely on it to stay the way I need it to.
Say something my brain yells to me,stop running,if you have good reason to scream,then scream!
No,I here comes sedation again.
Wake up,wake up, WAKE UP!!!!!!
1:22 a.m. 
by Timm Jumper
