2004-07-04

I will...

I think I'm getting it somewhat together,but there has been horror in my mind,and anger builds and festers.

Anger is a horrible thing when locked away,left only to boil and release at the wrong moment.

Jealousy,resentment,bitterness,dark dark negative veiws on everything.

Yet,sometimes these things feel warranted.

I need a vacation from me and every little sore that adds to my ever growing inability to cope with all this bullshit.

I also need many hugs,music, lots of music,people that glow,people that make me laugh until it hurts,people that overwhelm me with knowledge and sincerity,and selflessness.

People that don't push away or pull to close.

Confusing me,themselves,and others.

My..this is quite venting.

I've been listening to alot of Nick Cave these past 2 days.

I like his dark,shaking voice and murderous overtones.

Makes me want to just sit,wide-eyed and stare,while rubbing my hands together..to gether..to GET her...Mwa ha ha ha ha!!!!!

he he

I will get a grip soon,it's time to say fuck it,and stop dwelling.

I will be kinder,I will try to understand and not let pride or ego cloud sanity cuasing rage,I will show comfort,but no longer be simply a pillow or pair of clown shoes.

I will speak up,swallowing everything is a horrible way to deal with anything.

I will also listen to more Nick Cave starting now....

3:21 a.m. by Timm Jumper