2005-11-30
Tow lines
Well,Thanksgiving was quite nice,with turkey and wine,and of course spending time with Miss Meggy.Yes,I had a lovely time,but as always the end too soon,only to be promptly followed by an equal amount of down time.
I miss her and worry ,and am angered and sadened by other friends pulling away from me.
So there is a sickening storm of emotions spinning around in my mind.
I'd like to just let it all go,but I just seem to dwell on it.
It bothers me that out of all those I felt closest to, it's more then likely there will only be one or two left eventually.
Casual aquaintances,and uncomfortably awkward situations where people smile and fake it, burying what they really feel away from truth.
Perhaps I do push some away, but alot are just shitty circumstances that I can never change.
I often picture me walking down a long path, and occasionally somone's little road will run parallel for a couple years,so I wave and smile until it abrubtly turns in another direction,and I wave good bye sadly.
Then there are those who somehow, affect me so deeply that I refuse to ever, ever let myself steer off,even if I have to jump off my own and blindly run with them hoping it will take me somewhere nice.
Maybe I shouldn't do this, but I'm far from caring anymore of right and wrong.
Those choices don't exsist in my mind.
I have tied a rope to two people,and I'll never cut it.
I'm sure you know who you are,and why.
12:58 p.m. 
by Timm Jumper
